Learning as I go…

Months ago I decided to live my life by a new set of rules, a new standard, new goals… …new purpose. Until now my life and decisions around it have been quite linear. I made decisions because I knew what the outcome would be. I chased leadership, responsibility, and respect. I was very much the crystal shop owner in The Alchemist. I had a dream, but I had no real intention of achieving it.

For months I have been wrestling with myself. Nearing implosion, I began analyze why I was in such conflict with myself. This is what I am begining to understand: You cannot just decide to live differently.  You have to retrain yourself.  Nobody would just say, “I am no longer going to be a plumber.  Starting tomorrow I will be a dentist.”  There are skill you must learn, and tool you need to acquire.

Life is no different.  I decided that I was going to live my life chasing my dreams.  I wanted to pursue the things that I found fulfilling.  I needed to make decisions based on my needs, not anyone a feeling of obligation to others.

Well… …It’s been more difficult then I expected.